No, seriously.

I ordered my wedding dress on Saturday. Big item off the to-do list of DOOOM. So that's a relief.

The woman asked if I wanted to try a veil. I am always willing to try them, although I lean a little away from them at least in idea because of the nature of the history of what they stand for. Also, I have lain with a man, so there's that.

I can't deny that they make me look like a Capital-B-Bride, though. The effect is instant and amazing and makes me catch my breath. Which is kind of the point of not telling my sweet man anything about the dress - I make my grand entrance, and the awesome hotness of my beauty gallops forth to slaughter his heart, and he's mine FOR EV AR.

But the thing cost $195. For something I would wear for a half an hour, that I'm not totally committed to wearing. At that price, I would feel really badly if I changed my mind.

Then I contacted the sweet and wonderful Princess Aurora and told her of my woes. And she gave me, as she is wont to do, awesome advice and concrete help. I am so so glad she is going first! The website she gave me had the same veil - plain tulle with a ribbon edging - for a much cheaper price.

How much cheaper, you ask? Can you guess?

IT IS SEVEN DOLLARS. SEVEN. SEVEN OF THEM. SEVEN DOLLAR BILLS. TWENTY-EIGHT QUARTERS.

My mind, she boggles. I know there's the whole wedding industry, and all of that, but COME ON.

I am amazed.

Less than 2 months!

Less than 2 months to go and things are a bit nutty, but controlled due to my fairly well planned schedule.  Invitations are out and being received, we've even got 2 RSVPs back! Our wedding offically has 7 guests.  

Still left to do:

-Drop deposit at bakery

-Arrange all final meetings for details

-Write the ceremony

-Get Donald a ring!

-Monitor hotel block

-Write a lot of checks

-Dress fittings (only 1! My dress fits well and my seamstress is a godess)

-Order 1 final bridesmaids dress tonight

-Other detaily crap

Its truely insane.  I can't wait to be married to my wonderful man though.

Checklists and milestones

Things I have done:

- found a DJ (who I LOVE)
- found a photographer
- chosen my dress (in my head)
- ordered part of the Save the Dates, to be assembled at home
- chosen the wedding dreads colors
- talked to Jessie about helping me do a prelim install of the wedding dreads to make sure it's what I want

Things I need to do:
- send the contracts and deposits to the DJ and photographer
- make an appointment to actually put money down and get the dress
- finalize addresses on the invitation list
- finalize the invite list
- assembled the Save the Dates and send them out
- order the wedding dreads

Stuff I am freaking out about that I know I need to do:
- figure out what the kids can do (two 12 year old cousins on one side, one 13 year old cousin on the other, my 8 year old nephew and 1 year old niece)
- find out where to get appropriately colored pashminas / large wraps for my sister and Mike's sister
- figure out what to do about invitations and where to get them from and if I'm going to design them or let someone else do it
- do something about flowers (my favorite suggestion so far: grocery store ordering)
- talk to the place about rehearsal times
- find a rehearsal dinner place
- figure out cheaper hotel options for family who want to stay longer

I think we're going to go incognito as already-married people to the hotel that is further down the street than the one that we've already spoken to. I want to tell them I'm having a party (so they won't see $$ when we say "wedding") and that the hotel up the street offered me this rate, and if they can beat it, I'll bring my business to them.

I'm at five months, ten days now. Yikes.

Dress!

Today Mom & I went shopping and I ordered my dress! I know its crazy early, but we figured why not get it now since I already know what I want. So I have a dress! well, I'll have it in 4-6 months, but still. Dress! Whee! :D

We have a plan!

... and we're waffling like there's no tomorrow.

I've decided its time to really sit down and figure out the "meat & potatoes" of what our wedding is gonna be. The fun stuff (decorations, dresses, favors, etc) is basically all picked out, now to figure out what we're doing and when we're doing it.

So I've sat the dear fiancee down and we've had chats. They're always short as he gets very frustrated about it all, primarily because of all the 'rules' and limitations and exceptions and all the crap we've gone through that has nothing to do with us. Nearly everything we've considered was because of someone else, catering to their wants, making others happy. And it sucks. It takes the fun out of what should be a kick-ass awesome day.

But we have a plan. Its a bit funky, but its a plan all the same. And I think we can do it at a reasonable price.

Now to just figure out venues. We keep finding places, and then changing our mind. and finding something else, but realizing it has 3-hour time limits or the reason it seems so inexpensive is it doesn't include tables & chairs. < sigh> sometimes I would just love to hire a planner so I don't have to do the searching. I'm all about making things, but I loathe all the searching.

But we have a plan! At least we have a plan :)

Loose ends and details

Unlike Wisp, I am tying up loose ends right now. Most of my major vendors are booked, including the most recent:

-Florist: I love my florist, he took my 'vision' (read: inexensive, simple, and bold colors) and is making it come true, with the focus on 'inexpensive'. I hate the idea of spending much on something that will die in days.
-Chair covers: Prince's parents decided that the hall needed chair covers, so I found a vendor to come and put them on for a very reasonable price. The burgundy satin sash matches my bridesmaids dresses perfectly.
-Centerpieces: All items are collected except for 22 12" mirrors. These things are STUPIDLY expensive.
-HONEYMOON: We will be spending 12 glorious days in Punta Cana, in the Dominican Republic. I seriously can't wait. Details of the location and the travel agent who helped me figure things out and get an seriously sick price... contact me.

Major things left:
-Cake: Prince is in charge. Poke him.
-Tuxes: Pick out Prince's tux to buy, choose rental tux for GM.

The list of minor things is terrifyingly long... its 6 typed pages. Highlights include:
-Nagging bridesmaids to order their dresses
-Finalizing and sending out invites!

140 days left. OMG WHAT?

*dies*

(Also, I had to change my blog name to Loki for my newly formed food blog, to be launched shortly).

-Aurora/Loki

A flurry of action

I feel like I'm in the thick of things now.

- We put a deposit down on the location (NW DC)
- We talked to the hotel that's nearby for their rates, and are going to contact another shortly
- We're meeting with a photographer that came highly recommended (thanks, Devin and Beth!)
- I've started filling out the budgeting tools on theknot.com (don't love the community, but the tools and resources are pretty awesome)
- We're talking about ceremony musicians
- I designed some Save the Date cards (but I'm not sure if I love them yet)

This week:

- See if printing the Save the Dates ourselves looks cute or chintzy
- Design an outer card and get the materials to print them, if we're going that way
- Meeting with said photographer on Saturday morning
- Work out whether or not we want a photobooth (I vote yes!)
- Get more addresses from my parents

It seems like so much, especially when I think about all the OTHER things we have to do (contact the caterer, figure out something with flowers, find a tux shop, get my mom down to VA to the dress shop to see the dress I love, and, uh, EVERYTHING ELSE) but I'm trying not to freak out.

Oh, and we're closing for our house on August 5th. I think we've both lost it. (That is, incidentally, why we didn't get married this summer - we didn't want to be moving and planning a wedding all at the same time so urgently.)

Whew.

PS: A couple of things I forgot! I have the wedding website started, and have added the wedding party and some pictures and stuff to it.

And we've got 251 days to go! Yikes.

Cake Topper and more

We went to a catering tasting the other night. The location was really lovely. Romeo kept calling it "cozy", which amused me. Twin fireplaces, dance floor in the middle, really lovely checkerboard flooring in the foyer. The catering was tasty, too, although not something either of us really is too concerned about. Just make it good, you know?

In slightly more exciting news, I found the most perfect cake topper you can possibly imagine for the two of us. I can hardly stand how cute it is!

Showers and Bachelorette Parties

My maid of honor is starting to plan my shower and bachelorette parties! At least, the east coast shower which will likely be in Baltimore (there may be a local Detroit one as well). I'm so excited, and these little things make everything seem SO REAL.

238 days to go, which means that I'm beyond the halfway point of planning. When I first really started, I had just over 500 days to go. I'm getting a bit nervous about booking the last few vendors, florists have been so much pricier than I though they'd be. Its making me annoyed at flowers in general, but I want to have them so I will suck it up. We'll start looking for a baker in a few months, they don't book up as fast since they can do more than one wedding in a weekend.

My dress will be delivered in about 2 months! I can't wait to see MY wedding dress, not just the sample. Some days I worry that I chose something too busy, but at the same time I look back at pics of all the other dresses I tired on and they all look so much worse than the one I chose.

This weekend I'm going to help pick out a bridesmaids dress for Annette for my wedding, and help her look at gowns for her wedding. I am so so excited about this! Next weekend I'll help Margreta choose hers and then Joan the following weekend (slightly complicated by her 22ish week pregnancy, but we'll make do!). So much wedding stuff to do, so little time.

How are my fellow blogger's doing?

-Aurora

Wedding fears

Someone on theknot boards today put up a poll asking what people's biggest fears were. I have a lot, but I will limit my list to 10.

1) Almost none of Prince's family will bother to come out because they're all so stuck up that they can't bear to leave New York.
2) I will cry, a lot, and ruin my makeup and be all red and blotchy.
3) I will fall down in my big dress and high, slippery heals. I have to go up and down 2 flights of stairs TWICE during the ceremony.
4) It will snow.
5) I won't enjoy the day because I do my normal "can't trust anyone else to do stuff right" bit and be overly controlling about the few details I actually care about.
6) I will get a headache.
7) I will be so tired at the end that I won't enjoy my wedding night.
8) My wedding dress will dig uncomfortably into me. I did my best to pick a 'comfortable' dress but we'll see.
9) Someone important is late!
10) People don't dance and have fun.

That list was entirely too easy to make...


-Aurora

9 months to go!

With 9 months to go we've made pretty good progress. We have most of the vendors booked, though I still need to find an officiant, florist, and cake person. My invitations are being designed by an amazing woman who is a friend of a friend, and they're being done for a great price! The last few vendors will be booked within the next 2 months. After that I've got 2-3 months of crafty projects to complete like decorating my vases and such for the reception. I also need to figure out how to decorate my chapel. There's so much to consider you never think about!

My save-the-date cards/magnets went out and have started arriving at various houses. They look amazing and I'm very proud of them. Our guest website has also been launched: www.mcleansullivanwedding.com has all the info about the hotel, flights, and area.

I have nearly finished putting together my look for the day. My dress has been ordered, and I've found very "Aurora" shoes which I have dyed red, for a splash of color and fun. I've also decided to wear feathers in my hair, just for something a bit different. I am so excited about all these little touches. I've got most of my jewelry figured out. I will be borrowing Donald's mother's earrings, they're both 1k diamonds that were her mother and grandmother's engagement rings (something borrowed). My mother will be getting me a second pair of earrings for my second holes which will be small sapphires (something blue). I have a piece of handmade lace my great aunt made for my something old (not 100% sure where this will go). My something new will be one of many things! The only thing I need to find is a bracelet, and I want something a bit unique and art-deco without being gaudy. I'm picky, apparently.

That's all for now :)

-Aurora

Moving right along

This afternoon, Romeo and I are going to head to the store where he got my engagement ring to look at wedding bands. The store has a yearly sale, and next year will be too late, so we may get this particular detail out of the way quickly. I'm excited.

And we've settled on a date! I emailed my sister and it turns out that for the kids who are coming from France (my cousins and her stepson), the best date in regards to their winter holidays from school will be (drum roll please) February 21, 2009.

So that's also settled.

On Saturday we're going to take a tour of a location here (actually, in Maryland, pretty close to my office) where we might have the wedding. I don't want to get my hopes up, but having that detail out of the way would make things SO much easier - then we could move on to hotel blocks and such that we can do this early but not until the location is set.

It's a whirlwind!

Checklist!

Wedding planning requires lots of checklists. Right now mine is about 15 items long. To do in the NEXT MONTH alone! Here they are:

1) Pick out bridesmaids dresses
2) Find and book officiant
3) Send out save-the-date magnets
4) Finalize contract with hotel for room block
5) Find possible alternate hotel with shuttle
6) Make list of florists to interview
7) Make list of bakers to interview/taste cake!
8) Order my dress
9) Invite GMs
10) Pick out Tuxes

Yep, there's more too. Sigh.

Brides are Crazy: Part 1

Brides are some of the craziest people I have ever encountered. I am one of them, I do not deny being crazy. However, I will report the crazy to you for amusement sake.

A few months ago I bought a cake serving set from the Bombay Company. It looks like this:
I got it on sale for 25$. I thought it was perfect for my fall wedding! As it turns out, this is possibly the most coveted item for fall brides. Apparently last year people were buying 10 at a time and selling them on ebay. That's crazy enough... but what about this....

Bombay company is going out of business. This means no more perfect fall wedding cake cutting sets! And so, on theknot.com, people are selling their sets for upwards of 100$. I am not kiding.

I'm tempted to sell them for a stupid profit, but at the same time I love them so much and want to use them. A part of me is hoping to use it next year and sell it a few years later for a ridiculous price to some crazy bride who absolutely must have it.

On another note, I just did the math. I am nearly complete collecting items for my table centerpieces, and I will construct them for less than 5$ per table. Yay bargain shopping! Now I just have to find people to put them together for me on the day of the wedding so I don't have to.

Rejected :(

Yesterday I received a rejection card from one of the ladies I asked to be a bridesmaid. I'm really upset about this. Part of me wants to talk to her about it, to try to convince her otherwise. But another part just wants to forget about it and move on. She listed her reasons why she won't do it, and while I agree with them I don't feel she's being fair or even willing to listen or give me a chance.

This is just another in a series of the downward slope our friendship has taken. She's been dissing me more and more lately, I was chalking it up to her being busy with school and work and what-not, but after these last few rejections I'm ready to just wash my hands of her entirely.

But that doesn't mean I'm not hurt. Oh, I am. I already had a big tear-fest over it.

And now I'm left with the dilemma of what to do with her spot. I don't have many close friends, let alone anyone I feel close enough with that I'd want to ask them to be in the wedding. So do we have asymmetrical attendants? Do I "promote" or "downgrade" someone else? I have no clue. Luckily, I still have a ton of time so I don't have to figure it out any time soon.

I still feel like poop though.



At least our Thanksgiving visit with my parents went well and Mom loves my ideas so far. I'm so glad to have supportive and non-meddling parents.

one thing down

I do have one thing confirmed -- my friend John Scalzi said he would officiate. He has done it for other people, and he's a writer, and he's been a friend of mine for, gosh, like 7 years now, but we aren't terribly close.

So that's nice. It's someone I've known for a long time, who met Romeo last year at a book signing. I'm amused that Romeo told a friend of his who was impressed because he recognized the name as being the author of some books he read. Romeo says: "We aren't going to be married by a priest, or a judge. We're going to be married by a science-fiction author. That's PERFECT!"

We're leaning toward February 7th or February 21st 2009. (Not the 14th because OMG everyone ever is planning a wedding that day.)

So, that's one less thing I have to think about. Whew.

Progress

Sometimes I feel like I'm preparing too early for our wedding. We have basically 2 years and that just seems so far away. I know it'll go fast, and I'm trying to do as much as I can now while I have the time. Hopefully that'll keep things from being quite so crazy as the day approaches.

This weekend my guy (nickname to be decided later) and I visited his parents and had a sit-down chat with the guest list. He & his mom poured over his sister's list and names were added to ours. This went way more smoothly than I could've imagined. We don't care so much about the "well, if you invite this person then you just have to invite these 4 people." But we know that with his family while we don't care his mom will be the one to have to deal with the bitching and moaning. Some people we added now just to keep her happy, but we have no real intentions of inviting. Tentative list size so far, including "B" list and random "dates" for people: 174. This makes me sooo happy. I wanted to keep it under 200, and with the "expect 25-30% not to come" rule that makes it less than 150! woot! To me 150 seems nice--still small and intimate but not exclusive or eliminating anyone.

The talk didn't go without a hitch though. When talking to his mom about who was tentatively in the wedding party she got very upset that we hadn't included his sister in the party. We'd still like her to do something special--haven't decided what yet, but we already knew we wanted her to play some important part. His mom didn't seem to hear this. She seems to be stuck on the old-fashioned mind-set that after the best man/maid of honor that the wedding party is the most important and other people are just meaningless. Our wedding isn't going to be like that at all. We can't have everyone in the wedding party, hell, we're already over the "1 attendant per 50 people" rule that I heard (not sure if that's really a rule or what. but we're hoping to have 6 on each side). We tried explaining all of this to his mom but she just wasn't listening. After leaving there the guy called his sister and talked to her about it. She said she doesn't care, agrees that mom is being old-fashioned and overreacting, and would just be happy to do whatever we'd like for her to do. At least she gets it, and that's what really matters.

So, basic list: Done. Can really focus on venues based on this size estimate.
First "major" hurdle/gripe/unhappiness: jumped and solved.
Ready to move on to whatever else I can do at this crazy early stage.

A story for Wisp

I thought you may appreciate this one, Wisp.

There's a local place we considered for the ceremony. Its a gorgeous church set back in the woods, really very lovely. It was a bit too far away to truly consider, plus it was a bit pricey (almost 1k without any officiant or anything). Its a non-denominational church, and we could have had a totally non religious ceremony in there....

As long as the officiant was not a woman. That might upset the congregation.

We could have a Satan worshiping*, Christ condemning, darned near goat-sacrificing ceremony there.... as long as it was not lead by a woman.

-Aurora

*One of the girls on the local forums actually asked if this was OK. She was told it was.

Photographer: CHECK!

Last night I got in touch with the photographer we met with first. We actually met with him like 2 months ago, and we really liked him and his style. He's really fun, friendly, and does great work. He told us we had to meet with other photographers before we booked him just because he thinks you should truely understand what you want. After meeting with 2 others, we still booked him!

www.bryanmitchell.com

His approach is photojournalistic, which I thnk is really interesting. Plus he discounts his packages in November, so we're getting a really good deal.

-Aurora

Boys! (part 2)

Aurora, that's hilarious.

When we got engaged, about a month and a half ago, we decided that since we knew we weren't getting married until early 2009 to take a month off from dealing with issues about the wedding. We daydreamed out loud to each other, about the music, and the bridal party, and all of that, but we said that as soon as we disagreed about something, or stressed out, we would move on to something else.

So, Romeo didn't make any decisions. And after the month was over, he came to me and said, "Honey, we need to start figuring this out now. We need to make plans." He was already starting to panic.

I laughed. I already have two top choices for my dress, we already know who the bridal party is (and some of them have been notified), we have ideas on colors, and it made me laugh that he thought we hadn't done anything.

I read once that you should have three things that you really care about having a certain way and the rest of it you should just let go. So far I know I care about what the bridal party looks like (in the sense that everyone looks great, not that everyone looks just like I think they ought to) and the music (boy howdy do I have some very specific requirements there). I think I also care about the photographs.

Oh, and I emailed the guy who I want to perform the ceremony. I hope to hear back from him; he's a friend of mine who is a pretty busy author and I hope he doesn't already have conventions or events to go to in early 2009. Fingers crossed!