Compromise part 2

I don't know if I realized just how traditional Prince Charming was! That's kind of funny.

So I'm not changing my name. I never planned to, not once I realized what it meant for me to absorb my identity into someone else's. I used to be very hardline about this, and felt like women who did change their names were somehow letting the rest of us down. There is a part of me that intellectually wishes more women would keep their names because it makes it easier for women to ACTUALLY choose whatever they want if the splits are more like 50/50 and less like 90% of women getting married this year who are going to change their names. But in reality, it's whatever you want it to be. If you want to change your name, please, don't let my lack of interest in it dissuade you.

It's already come up, at least a couple of times. I'm not sure if that's because I'm so publicly and unashamedly a feminist and people honestly wonder what it means to me, or if it's just another question people ask like, "When is it?" and "What's the ring like?"

The first few times I was asked, I explained. "No, I'm not," I said. "My name is mine, and I've spent 26 years with it, and I don't see any reason to change it. I'll hyphenate if he does, but I'm not just going to give up my name because I'm the woman and he's the man and That's What's Done."

I think I'm done explaining now. I realized I was being defensive, and that makes me sad. I think the next time someone asks, I'm just going to say that I'm not. There shouldn't be any need for explanation. There shouldn't be any question that I have my reasons not to change it, and they have nothing to do with my affection for Romeo, my desire to have a family with him, my desire to be included in a family with him, or anything like that.

Make the world as I think it should be, right? Isn't that the point?