Many thanks to Aurora and Wisp for inviting me to join in their blogging!
I picked the name Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas as my moniker, partially because I couldn't think of anything better, and partially because she's a kind of cartoony female thats crafty (like me!)
So far I have no real solid ideas about my wedding other than I think it'll be somewhere in-between Aurora's and Wisps. I want to do as much of it myself as possible, both to save on money and because I really enjoy this kind of uber craftiness :)
I've done some basic research about wedding stuff and I've reached the point that we need to sit down and hash out a basic guest list before I can even begin to seriously think about budgets, location, decorations, etc.
Oh, and I want to do everything in my power not to get insanely stressed, not to become a bridezilla, to just sit back and enjoy every moment as much as possible. I only want to do this once, and I'd like it to be a good time :)
Whee! :D
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
And then there were 3!
I would like to formally congratulate and welcome Annette (forum name to be chosen soon) to Tying Three Knots! Annette and her boyfriend got engaged at their annual Halloween party in front of many of their close friends. I was so happy that I was there! I cried. It totally ruined my Greek Goddess eye makeup, but it was totally worth it.
So again, Congratulations, Annette!
Someone, there's a picture on a certain friends flikr page with the shot of our 3 rings. Can we make that into some kind of icon for the blog? Because... hi... three sparkley rings? Who can resist!
So again, Congratulations, Annette!
Someone, there's a picture on a certain friends flikr page with the shot of our 3 rings. Can we make that into some kind of icon for the blog? Because... hi... three sparkley rings? Who can resist!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Ceremony and Reception hall: CHECK!
Yesterday we FINALLY signed on the dotted line for our ceremony and reception location. We found a lovely older synagogue that was bought out by an independant group that has renovated it. The chapel is a round building with stained glass all the way around it. There's a gorgeous stage and the room is very lovely (albeit a bit dark, but nothing a good amount of decoration will hide).
Then there's a courtyard that has a gazebo and a garden and a fountain, and soon it will have a bridge too. Very lovely area for pictures and such.
The hall for the reception is also very nice, and the food is fantastic.
This is the first major thing you have to do when you're planning your wedding. Nothing can be set or created until you find the hall. You don't even have a date until you sign and get the deposit in. It also sets the general feel of the wedding. An old mansion has a different feel than a hotel, which has a different feel than a church.
We're so excited!
Then there's a courtyard that has a gazebo and a garden and a fountain, and soon it will have a bridge too. Very lovely area for pictures and such.
The hall for the reception is also very nice, and the food is fantastic.
This is the first major thing you have to do when you're planning your wedding. Nothing can be set or created until you find the hall. You don't even have a date until you sign and get the deposit in. It also sets the general feel of the wedding. An old mansion has a different feel than a hotel, which has a different feel than a church.
We're so excited!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Name Question
I, too, have gotten the name question many times. I am always unsure of how to answer it. I mean, I know the answer, and that is yes, I will be taking Prince Charming's last name. But I don't know how to word it. Its an interesting question, because it wasn't that many years ago that if you didn't take someones name when you married them, you were really really weird.
Today, I find that for the most part people are accepting either way. Yes, the more traditional generations before ours may give you crap if you decide not to become Mrs. SoandSo instead of Mrs. WhoI'veAlwaysBeen. But that's their problem, and their take on it.
I've always intended to take the last name of my husband. For me, it is a gesture of acceptance of him and his family. It then becomes OUR last name as well, the name we will raise our family with. But I completely understand the desire to stick with the last name you grew up with, because it truely is a part of you. It does not, in any way, make you less married.
A few brides I've known recently will move thier maiden name to thier middle name, which I actually think is a decent idea. For me, my middle name is already a family name, and that's enough.
I'm still bitter about moving SIGNIFICANTLY down in the alphabet. But, you know, that's love!
-Aurora (soon to be Aurora Charming?)
Today, I find that for the most part people are accepting either way. Yes, the more traditional generations before ours may give you crap if you decide not to become Mrs. SoandSo instead of Mrs. WhoI'veAlwaysBeen. But that's their problem, and their take on it.
I've always intended to take the last name of my husband. For me, it is a gesture of acceptance of him and his family. It then becomes OUR last name as well, the name we will raise our family with. But I completely understand the desire to stick with the last name you grew up with, because it truely is a part of you. It does not, in any way, make you less married.
A few brides I've known recently will move thier maiden name to thier middle name, which I actually think is a decent idea. For me, my middle name is already a family name, and that's enough.
I'm still bitter about moving SIGNIFICANTLY down in the alphabet. But, you know, that's love!
-Aurora (soon to be Aurora Charming?)
Compromise part 2
I don't know if I realized just how traditional Prince Charming was! That's kind of funny.
So I'm not changing my name. I never planned to, not once I realized what it meant for me to absorb my identity into someone else's. I used to be very hardline about this, and felt like women who did change their names were somehow letting the rest of us down. There is a part of me that intellectually wishes more women would keep their names because it makes it easier for women to ACTUALLY choose whatever they want if the splits are more like 50/50 and less like 90% of women getting married this year who are going to change their names. But in reality, it's whatever you want it to be. If you want to change your name, please, don't let my lack of interest in it dissuade you.
It's already come up, at least a couple of times. I'm not sure if that's because I'm so publicly and unashamedly a feminist and people honestly wonder what it means to me, or if it's just another question people ask like, "When is it?" and "What's the ring like?"
The first few times I was asked, I explained. "No, I'm not," I said. "My name is mine, and I've spent 26 years with it, and I don't see any reason to change it. I'll hyphenate if he does, but I'm not just going to give up my name because I'm the woman and he's the man and That's What's Done."
I think I'm done explaining now. I realized I was being defensive, and that makes me sad. I think the next time someone asks, I'm just going to say that I'm not. There shouldn't be any need for explanation. There shouldn't be any question that I have my reasons not to change it, and they have nothing to do with my affection for Romeo, my desire to have a family with him, my desire to be included in a family with him, or anything like that.
Make the world as I think it should be, right? Isn't that the point?
So I'm not changing my name. I never planned to, not once I realized what it meant for me to absorb my identity into someone else's. I used to be very hardline about this, and felt like women who did change their names were somehow letting the rest of us down. There is a part of me that intellectually wishes more women would keep their names because it makes it easier for women to ACTUALLY choose whatever they want if the splits are more like 50/50 and less like 90% of women getting married this year who are going to change their names. But in reality, it's whatever you want it to be. If you want to change your name, please, don't let my lack of interest in it dissuade you.
It's already come up, at least a couple of times. I'm not sure if that's because I'm so publicly and unashamedly a feminist and people honestly wonder what it means to me, or if it's just another question people ask like, "When is it?" and "What's the ring like?"
The first few times I was asked, I explained. "No, I'm not," I said. "My name is mine, and I've spent 26 years with it, and I don't see any reason to change it. I'll hyphenate if he does, but I'm not just going to give up my name because I'm the woman and he's the man and That's What's Done."
I think I'm done explaining now. I realized I was being defensive, and that makes me sad. I think the next time someone asks, I'm just going to say that I'm not. There shouldn't be any need for explanation. There shouldn't be any question that I have my reasons not to change it, and they have nothing to do with my affection for Romeo, my desire to have a family with him, my desire to be included in a family with him, or anything like that.
Make the world as I think it should be, right? Isn't that the point?
Compromise
Its funny that Wisp mentions that she's finding out that her Romeo is more traditional in certain ways than she thought. I have been finding out the same things about my Prince (do you think they'll hate us for their nicknames?). The dress is a pretty good example of this. I showed him a few dresses I thought were neat, though I wouldn't wear them. The more mermaid kind of dress, like this one:
He said that it barely looked like a wedding dress (then he tried to imitate them trying to walk in said dress, which was endlessly funny). That being said, I think whatever you wear on your wedding day is your wedding dress, and he was just being silly.
But is the supremely puffy white wedding dress traditional at all? The puffy part probably comes from the victorian era, since obviously the more layers your skirt had the richer you were.* The whiteness of the wedding dress comes from the idea that white is virginial and of course the bride should be a virgin on her wedding night.
Fat chance.
I'll still wear white(ish) because I like how it looks. The supremely stark whites totally wash me out, but even a touch of shade (like diamond white from Maggie Sottero) look really nice against my pinkish skin. I originally planned to wear ivory, because that looks even better, but I heard "ivory is for second-time brides!" too many times. Diamond white is my compromise (and the party in question won't find out its diamond white until long after its ordered... hahahah!).
I've decided not to actually put up the dress I intend to get, since I don't want everyone to see it before the day. But here are some dresses I love, think are very traditional (with a twist, of course) wedding gowns, perfect for this Princess:
*I'm making crap up.
-Aurora
He said that it barely looked like a wedding dress (then he tried to imitate them trying to walk in said dress, which was endlessly funny). That being said, I think whatever you wear on your wedding day is your wedding dress, and he was just being silly.
But is the supremely puffy white wedding dress traditional at all? The puffy part probably comes from the victorian era, since obviously the more layers your skirt had the richer you were.* The whiteness of the wedding dress comes from the idea that white is virginial and of course the bride should be a virgin on her wedding night.
Fat chance.
I'll still wear white(ish) because I like how it looks. The supremely stark whites totally wash me out, but even a touch of shade (like diamond white from Maggie Sottero) look really nice against my pinkish skin. I originally planned to wear ivory, because that looks even better, but I heard "ivory is for second-time brides!" too many times. Diamond white is my compromise (and the party in question won't find out its diamond white until long after its ordered... hahahah!).
I've decided not to actually put up the dress I intend to get, since I don't want everyone to see it before the day. But here are some dresses I love, think are very traditional (with a twist, of course) wedding gowns, perfect for this Princess:
*I'm making crap up.
-Aurora
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
I'll twist YOUR tradition
I am still working on having my name show up as Wisp (aka Rainbow Brite), but there's this other blog I have with my sister who is pregnant, and I don't want to show up as Wisp there.
Anyway, onward.
There are ways in which Miss Aurora is untraditional compared to other people, but I think she said it best when we first started talking about what we wanted -- "Someone should write a book about how our weddings are going to be so different."
It's funny, because there are things that don't matter to me and I'm finding out that Romeo (my one-and-only) is traditional in some ways. Aurora mentioned the "no seeing the bride" thing, which I don't really care too much about, but he does. So that is something we'll probably be doing.
As far as fathers, well, I am not my father's property and I will never be my husband's, so that whole "giving away" thing really creeps me out. My plan so far is to have Romeo escort his parents down the aisle first, and seat them, and I come down last with my parents and seat them, and that's it. No "who gives this woman" nonsense, because shoot, I'll be twenty-freaking-seven years old by then and I am representing myself.
There's so much of it that's beautiful and exciting that I don't want to focus on the parts I think are sexist or outdated. I have an idea for a dress that features quite a bit of red, and I have so many opinions on what the music will be for the dancing. Oh, the dancing. I can't wait to throw a party with all of my friends and familiy, and I can't wait to get married. Yay!
Anyway, onward.
There are ways in which Miss Aurora is untraditional compared to other people, but I think she said it best when we first started talking about what we wanted -- "Someone should write a book about how our weddings are going to be so different."
It's funny, because there are things that don't matter to me and I'm finding out that Romeo (my one-and-only) is traditional in some ways. Aurora mentioned the "no seeing the bride" thing, which I don't really care too much about, but he does. So that is something we'll probably be doing.
As far as fathers, well, I am not my father's property and I will never be my husband's, so that whole "giving away" thing really creeps me out. My plan so far is to have Romeo escort his parents down the aisle first, and seat them, and I come down last with my parents and seat them, and that's it. No "who gives this woman" nonsense, because shoot, I'll be twenty-freaking-seven years old by then and I am representing myself.
There's so much of it that's beautiful and exciting that I don't want to focus on the parts I think are sexist or outdated. I have an idea for a dress that features quite a bit of red, and I have so many opinions on what the music will be for the dancing. Oh, the dancing. I can't wait to throw a party with all of my friends and familiy, and I can't wait to get married. Yay!
Traditional with a twist
I think categorizing my wedding as 'traditional' would make a lot of people turn over in their graves. Honestly, one thing I've discovered so far in wedding planning is that in general, what people consider to be traditional varies greatly based on region, age, style, culture, etc etc. Take for example, who should you invite to your wedding? In some cultures, lets say Indian for example, you invite everyone. Literally... everyone. These affairs can include upwards of a thousand people, and become all day events. Others have only ever known small weddings, meaning close friends and family only. Neither being more right than the either, nor being more traditional than the other.
So I have decided to break down the things that I CONSIDER to be traditional pieces of a wedding and how I intend to incorporate them, or not.
1) The bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding, or its bad luck. I don't like this tradition, because I think there's so much pressure on the bride and groom that sometimes a more intimate first sighting is better than the first glance in a room full of people. You do lose some of the drama of the doors opening and there's the bride! But at the same time, I'm a big fan of reducing nerves prior to standing in front of a herd of people. And there's only so much that Vodka can do to calm nerves....
2) The symbol of the father in the wedding day. In a very traditional sense, the father is the person giving the daughter away to the other family. I like the role of the father, though the traditional meaning isn't really applicable. I will have both my mother and my father give me away, but my father will be the one to walk me down (most) of the aisle. There's also a father/daughter dance in the beginning of the reception. Honestly, every time I think about it I nearly cry. To me its an intimate moment. I love my father very much and I'm excited that he'll be sharing the day with me. I do, however, promise to not use the following songs for the father/daughter dance: "Butterfly Kisses" or "I loved her first".
I'll do more on traditional wedding traditions while I plan (and as I come up with something to say about them).
This blog is a place to reflect on the wedding planning process as I see it. And it is important to realize that everyone approaches it differently, which is why I think having Wisp and I keep a blog together will be fascinating. We are friends, but our weddings will be very different events. Neither is more right than the other, and that is the important thing for all of our readers to understand. We're not battling it out here to see who is better. We're both awesome.
-Aurora
So I have decided to break down the things that I CONSIDER to be traditional pieces of a wedding and how I intend to incorporate them, or not.
1) The bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding, or its bad luck. I don't like this tradition, because I think there's so much pressure on the bride and groom that sometimes a more intimate first sighting is better than the first glance in a room full of people. You do lose some of the drama of the doors opening and there's the bride! But at the same time, I'm a big fan of reducing nerves prior to standing in front of a herd of people. And there's only so much that Vodka can do to calm nerves....
2) The symbol of the father in the wedding day. In a very traditional sense, the father is the person giving the daughter away to the other family. I like the role of the father, though the traditional meaning isn't really applicable. I will have both my mother and my father give me away, but my father will be the one to walk me down (most) of the aisle. There's also a father/daughter dance in the beginning of the reception. Honestly, every time I think about it I nearly cry. To me its an intimate moment. I love my father very much and I'm excited that he'll be sharing the day with me. I do, however, promise to not use the following songs for the father/daughter dance: "Butterfly Kisses" or "I loved her first".
I'll do more on traditional wedding traditions while I plan (and as I come up with something to say about them).
This blog is a place to reflect on the wedding planning process as I see it. And it is important to realize that everyone approaches it differently, which is why I think having Wisp and I keep a blog together will be fascinating. We are friends, but our weddings will be very different events. Neither is more right than the other, and that is the important thing for all of our readers to understand. We're not battling it out here to see who is better. We're both awesome.
-Aurora
Monday, October 1, 2007
Sleeping Beauty
Wisp thought it would be a good idea for us to post a bit about who we are. So, here is that post!
I'm almost26 (next week) years old, and I was born in VA and raised mostly in Maryland. I am an east coast girl to the core. I have one brother, a half-brother, and 2 step-brothers. I also have 4 wonderful girls I call my sisters who are ex-step-sisters, but lets not make this more complicated than it already is. My mother currently lives in Massachusetts with her husband and their son who is 12. My father lives in Maryland and lives in the house I lived in while I was in High School. He's in the process of turning the place into the ultimate bachelor pad, which I think is awesome.
I went to college in York, PA and studied biology and chemistry. I came up with this brilliant idea to go for a PhD afterwards, and after looking at a few schools, I ended up going to University of Michigan. I'm still not sure I know why I chose U of M over UNC or Georgetown, but alas, I did.
Shortly after moving to Michigan, I met my Prince Charming, who was in reality also an east coast transplant. We quickly bonded and started dating, and we have been together ever since.
Prince Charming proposed to me on May 30th, 2007 in Kill Devil Hills, NC. He and I were out walking on the beach one moonlit night, and next thing I know he's down on one knee saying stunningly beautiful things, and then he asked me to marry him! I was so excited I nearly pushed him over into the surf. After some celebrating on the beach (not like that!) we went back to the house and told all of our friends. It was an amazing evening. And the ring is gorgeous!
I'm currently about 3 months into planning my wedding which is 95% sure to be 11/8/2008. I've always wanted a fall wedding, because I was born in the fall (10/10) and I always feel the most home in the fall. The leaves change and that to me is a symbol of life's progression. Fall reminds me that no matter how stagnant you think you life may be, there is always change coming. And on top of that, in Maryland, when fall come you don't immediately break into a sweat the moment you walk outside anymore.
My wedding is not fall-themed really. I will draw some inspiration from fall colors, though more towards reds than oranges. Our main colors are going to be wine and champagne, which makes us sound like alcoholics, but we're really not. I'm also going for a more intimate feeling, so lots of candles rather than flowers.
I'm super excited to be wedding planning. I'm a frequent visitor to TheKnot.com and you will see me occasionally refer to people as Knotties. They're all brides, planning their own weddings. We bounce ideas off one another and share opinions about local vendors. They are great people.
Finally, I have chosen to use the nickname Aurora, or Princess Aurora from the Sleeping Beauty story. My wedding will be very fairy-tale like, just like I always imagined. I'm very excited about it.
So, welcome to Tying Two Knots! Enjoy.
-Aurora
I'm almost26 (next week) years old, and I was born in VA and raised mostly in Maryland. I am an east coast girl to the core. I have one brother, a half-brother, and 2 step-brothers. I also have 4 wonderful girls I call my sisters who are ex-step-sisters, but lets not make this more complicated than it already is. My mother currently lives in Massachusetts with her husband and their son who is 12. My father lives in Maryland and lives in the house I lived in while I was in High School. He's in the process of turning the place into the ultimate bachelor pad, which I think is awesome.
I went to college in York, PA and studied biology and chemistry. I came up with this brilliant idea to go for a PhD afterwards, and after looking at a few schools, I ended up going to University of Michigan. I'm still not sure I know why I chose U of M over UNC or Georgetown, but alas, I did.
Shortly after moving to Michigan, I met my Prince Charming, who was in reality also an east coast transplant. We quickly bonded and started dating, and we have been together ever since.
Prince Charming proposed to me on May 30th, 2007 in Kill Devil Hills, NC. He and I were out walking on the beach one moonlit night, and next thing I know he's down on one knee saying stunningly beautiful things, and then he asked me to marry him! I was so excited I nearly pushed him over into the surf. After some celebrating on the beach (not like that!) we went back to the house and told all of our friends. It was an amazing evening. And the ring is gorgeous!
I'm currently about 3 months into planning my wedding which is 95% sure to be 11/8/2008. I've always wanted a fall wedding, because I was born in the fall (10/10) and I always feel the most home in the fall. The leaves change and that to me is a symbol of life's progression. Fall reminds me that no matter how stagnant you think you life may be, there is always change coming. And on top of that, in Maryland, when fall come you don't immediately break into a sweat the moment you walk outside anymore.
My wedding is not fall-themed really. I will draw some inspiration from fall colors, though more towards reds than oranges. Our main colors are going to be wine and champagne, which makes us sound like alcoholics, but we're really not. I'm also going for a more intimate feeling, so lots of candles rather than flowers.
I'm super excited to be wedding planning. I'm a frequent visitor to TheKnot.com and you will see me occasionally refer to people as Knotties. They're all brides, planning their own weddings. We bounce ideas off one another and share opinions about local vendors. They are great people.
Finally, I have chosen to use the nickname Aurora, or Princess Aurora from the Sleeping Beauty story. My wedding will be very fairy-tale like, just like I always imagined. I'm very excited about it.
So, welcome to Tying Two Knots! Enjoy.
-Aurora
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
