Sometimes I feel like I'm preparing too early for our wedding. We have basically 2 years and that just seems so far away. I know it'll go fast, and I'm trying to do as much as I can now while I have the time. Hopefully that'll keep things from being quite so crazy as the day approaches.
This weekend my guy (nickname to be decided later) and I visited his parents and had a sit-down chat with the guest list. He & his mom poured over his sister's list and names were added to ours. This went way more smoothly than I could've imagined. We don't care so much about the "well, if you invite this person then you just have to invite these 4 people." But we know that with his family while we don't care his mom will be the one to have to deal with the bitching and moaning. Some people we added now just to keep her happy, but we have no real intentions of inviting. Tentative list size so far, including "B" list and random "dates" for people: 174. This makes me sooo happy. I wanted to keep it under 200, and with the "expect 25-30% not to come" rule that makes it less than 150! woot! To me 150 seems nice--still small and intimate but not exclusive or eliminating anyone.
The talk didn't go without a hitch though. When talking to his mom about who was tentatively in the wedding party she got very upset that we hadn't included his sister in the party. We'd still like her to do something special--haven't decided what yet, but we already knew we wanted her to play some important part. His mom didn't seem to hear this. She seems to be stuck on the old-fashioned mind-set that after the best man/maid of honor that the wedding party is the most important and other people are just meaningless. Our wedding isn't going to be like that at all. We can't have everyone in the wedding party, hell, we're already over the "1 attendant per 50 people" rule that I heard (not sure if that's really a rule or what. but we're hoping to have 6 on each side). We tried explaining all of this to his mom but she just wasn't listening. After leaving there the guy called his sister and talked to her about it. She said she doesn't care, agrees that mom is being old-fashioned and overreacting, and would just be happy to do whatever we'd like for her to do. At least she gets it, and that's what really matters.
So, basic list: Done. Can really focus on venues based on this size estimate.
First "major" hurdle/gripe/unhappiness: jumped and solved.
Ready to move on to whatever else I can do at this crazy early stage.
2 comments:
I've had to fight some old-fashioned behaviors from Prince's mom. I mentioned that my dress was "diamond white" and not white, and she had a fit. That was funny, especially when I called Prince's sister who got married last year... in diamond white. I find that if the parents are over-reacting, get a second opinion before you take them for face value.
Oh, I'm glad it's going fairly smoothly. Not to be all Pollyanna, but it could be a LOT worse.
(But you're reasonable and not crazy, so that is a bonus.)
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